'My first thought was inexperienced time travellers': Two confounding customers leave waitress stunned, confused, questioning reality itself

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Jan 19, 2023 3:00 PM EST

Restaurant staff serve all kinds of people, but it isn't every day a waitress comes across customers who make her question her sanity. It takes a special kind of customer to do that, and these two utterly confused women really took their dining absurdity to the next level. 

In this long read post shared to r/TalesFromYourServer, one waitress shared an experience that left her exhausted and confused. Two women came in and were having trouble ordering, not understanding what restaurant their food was coming from, and ordering things that just weren't on the menu. Their behavior was so strange that the waitress asked her coworkers and manager about it, but she had to deal with most of the craziness herself. In the comments, people had tons of theories for the two women's behavior. Some people speculated that they were just under the influence of a substance or two, while others were quick to type 'Aliens!'. 

Then, check out this wild story from a calligrapher about a misogynistic manager who had no problem talking to this professional like she was a little kid. 

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    Cheezburger Image 9727666688
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    Cheezburger Image 9727656192
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    Font - Yesterday, two top. Two people sat themselves in my section at a dirty table (the table cloth hadn't even been changed.) The people weren't RUDE exactly, while we resat the table, they asked "Where's our menus?" While the busser, me, and hosts are trying to move around them clearing glasses and plates. They acted confused if anything, like, how DARE this table not be ready for us at a reservation based fine dining restaurant. I got waters, and tried to do my spiel (the whole these are our
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    Font - "Hmm, are you in the mood for red meat or seafood? The burger is garnished with xyz and sits between a baked in house blah blah bun, rich savory flavors, while the salmon is a top x vegetables and a brightly flavored z glaze." Again, a stair of confusion. "I can give you a moment if you would like to review the menu further." "No, we're ready now." "Ok, what would you like?" "I don't know." In my brain right now I'm just wondering, WTF is happening? There is no language barrier. There doe
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    Font - "Alright, I suggest the salmon then. And for you?" "I'll have the Blah Blah filet, well done. Absolutely no pink." I repeat the order back, they agreed, I think I'm in the clear, and I'm about to walk away. "Will you bring us appetizers?" "Of course, what would you like?" Them, not even opening the menu. "Chicken wings." "I apologize, we don't have chicken wings, might I suggest X or Y appetizer? We also have Z chicken entree which would be the closest thing to chicken wings, and is an ex
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    Font - I offered to bring extra bread, and again repeated the order. Decided on entrees only and extra bread. I brought two portions of bread. "Here you are, our (restaurant name) freshly baked bread and whipped butter." Our bread looks like bread. There is no mistaking for anything else. The table looks at me aghast and confused, like I messed something up. "This is bread?" "Yes." "So, this is bread?" "Yes, it is our baked in house bread." "At (popular restaurant) they have XYZ bread and served
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    Font - Ok, if you want their bread maybe go there? "Yes, I am sure I don't. I apologize. Is there anything else I can bring for you at the moment?" "No..." filled with disappointment and confusion. 30-40 minutes later, a food runner finds me with Blah Blah Filet in hand. "Table 77 said they didn't order this." I go up to the table. "You ordered the Blah Blah Filet, cooked well done, correct." "Yes I want the Blah Blah Filet." "Ok. Here is your Blah Blah Filet." "Nonono, that is not the Blah Blah
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    Font - "I see. I apologize that the Blah Blah filet was not you had envisioned, however this restaurant does not have the meal you described. Would you like to enjoy this meal, or order something else from our menu." "Yes. I want the Blah Blah Filet." My brain is melting. I feel like I'm losing my grip on reality. Am I not communicating properly? Why are me and this table not living in the same reality? What is happening? "This is the Blah Blah Filet." I say, gesturing to the plate in front of h
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    Font - She then hands me her untouched still folded cloth napkin. To her credit both are black and rectangular. But there is definitely a texture and weight and material difference you would immediately notice. "I can clear this napkin for you, but may I have the check presenter?" "I just gave it to you." She has no malice or anger in her voice. I double checked and nope it was a napkin. I eventually got the check, tipped 15% which was honestly better than I hoped. They left their jacket, and no
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    Font - MagogHaveMercy "Greeetings fellow human! We are human people, and we would like to try some of your finest human food. Because we are human, and definitely not lizard people in stolen human skins, (and jackets)." 369 Reply Share Should BeWorking01 Hmmm...I feel like I can trust you. Hello my name is also Hugh Mann.
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    Human body - bubblechog You just served a pair of Aliens
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    Rectangle - Global-Program-437. Yeah I've been all kinds of f up on all kinds of substances and still been more functional ordering a meal than this
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    Smile - The Dr Scientist. They were orbiting the da earth apparently.
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    Human body - DogmaticCat My first thought inexperienced time travellers.
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    Font - [deleted] A pair of aliens who had been to exactly one restaurant before, and assumed all restaurants had the same meals but under different names for some reason.
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    Human body - DILofDeath Omg I wonder if they thought they were at xyz restaurant...
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    Font - ADDYISSUES89 15+ year server. This is spot on. Many a time I have asked myself behind my confused work smile, "How the fu did you make it this far, bud? And also, good for you."
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    Font - [deleted] plot twist: OP was really h forgot which restaurant they were working at 216 ZeldLurr OP Reply Share and I legitimately asked my other coworkers "Hey we work at (restaurant name) and not at (other restaurant name)?" He confirmed that we were at (restaurant name) and not XYZ. He laughed and told me it's going to be ok. To the guests credit, both restaurant names have animals, but it's MONTHS wait to get a reservation at XYZ.
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    Font - or WeirdSysAdmin Maybe a prix fixe menu with wine pairing? 24 Reply Share ZeldLurr OP I'm assuming so. The restaurant I work at also has a price fixe menu that includes wine flights. All parties of more than 6 guests are required to be an "event" and go through out event planner and have a card on file. Perhaps they had attended a party and thought it was a flat rate restaurant.
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    Rectangle - KidNueva Something gives me a feeling the chicken wing lady wanted cheddar bay biscuits from red lobster
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    Organism - Limpstink Might have been crab people 244 Reply Share hailbopp25 Only explanation
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    Font - Level_Grapes Management "This is the blahblah filet" "Oh no it's not" Wow does your restaurant double as a pantomime?
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    Font - Detroit_Worker Only thing that makes any sense. OP was definitely not dealing with any rational thoughts. 4 26 ↓ Reply Share symbolicshambolic That's what I was thinking. Hallucinogens, maybe? Or it was performance art. OP was being filmed and it was a prank.
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    Font - ITcurmudgeon Nope. Pretty sure they were aliens. The honest to god from another universe type of aliens. On their first visit to Earth of which their only knowledge was gained from tv commercials bounced off our satellites deep into the depths of space.
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    Font - Manos Diamantes I can't believe this is real. Like this the real meaning of unbelievable. I understand you probably didn't invent this story but my brain just cannot accept it as factual. So extremely weird.
    via r/TalesFromYourServer

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